Friday, May 3, 2013

Livin' With Wimmen

The Power of Estrogen


One of the things I have realized I will miss the most about my college life, is living with other girls. Even if we didn't all become the best of friends that we thought we would, there is a weird and wonderful sense of camaraderie and kinship that forms. It's like the girl code on crack. 

The girl code, contrary to popular belief, isn't just about friendships between girls, how to handle boys, "hoes before bros" etc etc etc. It is a set of rules that guardian and patrol female-to-female interaction in many a different setting.  In the realm of social camaraderie, I've mentioned one of the stipulations before: Sex and The City. The girl code rules of social camaraderie also include being freely able to talk about one's period or boobs (and all brassiere related apparatus) to basically any other woman, no matter the level of comfort, and there will be no judgment. This rule also means helping another girl out in a creepy guy situation, taking group pee breaks, and clothing checks. When we forget this, is when the backstabbing and bitching comes out...but that's a hot topic for another day. 

Back to the female roommates. Despite the passive aggressiveness of four girls living together, the crazy emotions and general hunger for chocolate at odd hours of the night, there is something beautiful about it all. Someone can walk out of their room and be like "DUDES, I need a strapless bra for this dress", and somehow, from somewhere, one will be found that fits, and it's golden. There's no need for "omg, I owe you", it's understood that girls can share clothes, makeup, books, pillows. 

There's always someone there to hold your hair back, make you tea, get you medecine, offer you a blanket, go on midnight junk food runs, or awkwardly pat your back when you're crying in the kitchen.   Treating each other simultaneously like family and roommates, adults and children. It's a bizzarre dynamic that I don't think can be recreated. It takes four people who met in first year of college, didn't know each other that well and decided to trust each other to not be serial killers, slobs or horrible people, and showing that trust in the form of a down payment and monthly rent. 

Imma miss you girls, despite all my bitchin' throughout these two years. Imma miss you, and I'm gonna look back on these two years with the rosiest of the glances, and the glow that comes from uteruses in sync, unwashed pots and pans, paying bills and growing into adults together. 

"I'm so excited to get back into my house, pop some bottles and hook up with my roommates" - Jersey Shore


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

LAWD Take Me Back!

It's Over...It's Done. 

So today I officially finished my undergrad experience. I'm no longer eligible to tick "student" on forms, now I have to resort to good ol' fashioned "funemployed." (Read: oh my god, please hire me). 

Never before in my life have I felt grown up. I've been through the 16th, the 18th and the 20th birthday, and nothing. Yet today, that has all changed. I let the drama that had been bothering me for the past two days go, and I realized, fuck me...I'm an adult. I can forgive, I don't need to dramatize, I don't need to cry. 

Amidst the waves of panic that wash over me in the oddest of places - most recently the bathroom of the movie theatre (half price tuesdays!), I'm beginning to realize that this is it. I'm actually, genuinely done. That which had defined me for the past 16 years has ended. And while I could say that it leaves me open to forge a whole new identity, let's be honest, I wanna curl up in a ball and die. 

It's one of those things that no one will understand till they are in the same position. All that stretches in front of me is nothing (albeit that reads super dramatically). But essentially I have no tether point, no purpose, nothing to shield me from the world. If I amount to nothing now I can't hide behind the convenient guise of a degree.

I don't mean to sound like the stereotypical Arts Major Grad, but I have no prospects. In every aspect of my life I am floundering. And I know I haven't been looking for jobs for very long, but with the number I've applied to it'd be nice to be validated. None of my friends are in the same position as me, and this makes it worse. The stress of looking for an internship, is weak sauce in comparison to looking for a way to start my life. 

I'm sure things will look better in the morning...or in a couple months...but there's just nothing to guide me now. I'm not aiming for something specific (except the lofty ideal of Law School), but there's no longer a set path for me. What's worse is the siren's call of home. I want to go home. Not necessarily to be with my parents, but because starting somewhere else without the hope of a job or a future sounds far too scary. I want to be somewhere familiar, so that at least while all other variables of my life are in jeopardy, there's something solid. Is that not the basis of any successful experiment? Change one variable at a time, to figure out what works? 

And yet, if I live at home, I run the risk of falling into a rut...I may end up spending my 21st birthday with my parents, falling quickly (nay regressing), back to my high school routine. And I can't have that. If what I fear most is stagnation, and loneliness, then is living with my parents the right choice? I suppose though, the monetary situation would be beneficial, and I could continue to take classes at the state university, while either holding a real job, or taking on some sort of work/internship. 

haha, this is turning out to be quite the eclectic post. 

My last thought spurred my next issue: jobs. I've applied for all the standards: the paralegals, interns, entry level lackeys. Yet...what if what I need to set me apart is something crazy. Something so out of my comfort zone, that it allows me to unlock that part of myself that i've been unable to reach. That part which is only unlocked by great love, new passions, and danger. That part that really defines who you are...the storybook power in each of us. That little thing that would make you the hero of an epic fantasy, because that's the only situation where it would come out. 

Ah, but there's the rub...I'm not a risk taker. I like the idea of it (from movies and tv), but I like scheduled excitement, and spontaneity within reason. How on earth is someone like me supposed to find this crazy perfect job? Media tropes tell me that I will stumble into it. But media tropes also tell me that I will find the love of my life when I trip and he catches me *shot reverse shot* we make eye contact, as the sun forms a halo around his head, and my hair is perfectly wind-mussed. Alas, the last time I tripped and someone steadied me, it was a hobo. My life.  

Well, this post proved less cathartic then I'd hoped. Perhaps tomorrow inspiration will strike? Or perhaps it won't. Either way, I have from now till infinity. 

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm" Winston Churchill 

Saturday, April 20, 2013

According to SATC...

No One Wants to Be Miranda 

There's a change that every girl must go through to be called a woman. 

They must, from wherever and whenever they decide, watch every episode of Sex and the City from carefree ingenue season 1 to classic season 6, and both movies (although, the second movie can be watched once and forgotten). It's a rite of passage that allows you to move from the outer circle to the inner circle of girl, nay, WOMAN world. 

You start as a youngin, allowed to stay up at your own discretion on weekends, watching SATC as TBS reruns. You don't quite get it, and you definitely have the volume down low, cause you know your mom would not approve. Then one day it clicks, and you begin to treat this show like the biblical rite of passage it is.

I guarantee that no matter where you are, in a group of girls there will either be a reference to, a discussion of, or a general understanding of Sex and the City. I can also guarantee that in any group of girlfriends, they have had the WYSATCC discussion: Whose Your Sex and the City Character? And, unless you really are a cliche, your answer will vary from group to group. Everyone knows, one group's Samantha is another group's Charlotte.

There is, however, a dislike of the character Miranda, the character I am most often classified as. She's the archetypal "strong woman" for our generation, and our older wiser sisters/friends/cousins. Any girl who shows any sort of feminist qualities, is labeled the Miranda. So why? WHY do we despair at being called Miranda? We certainly shouldn't, and yet we do.

I myself consider myself half Miranda, half Samantha (from the first movie of course), simply BECAUSE of their strong, independent personalities. Except, unlike Samantha, I do believe in settling down, and in true love. I think what people forget (as they are blinded by the short hair, the caustic attitude, and my god the shoulder pads), is that Miranda isn't manly. She's not the anti-woman, she's the modern woman.

Sure, she wears the worst clothing (if you like Charlotte's Stepford Wives style), is decidedly UN-romantic and frankly can be a bit mean, but she's also a badass. She's a kickass lawyer who marries the sweetest man, has a baby, keeps her friends, and stays true to her ideals WHILE proving that compromise can happen without forgetting yourself. She marries Steve, has a baby, and makes herself and him happy. She's a living example that women can have it all. And please, her clothing gets better. IT WAS THE 80s! I mean, can we talk about some of the outfits Carrie wears? But since it's Carrie we don't call it ugly, we call it quirky, or high fashion.

Miranda is a damn good friend, a damn good mother, and a damn good lover. She proves to women everywhere, that you DONT have to be the expected romantic, sappy, girly woman to get the happy ending. You can have the white picket fence, happy marriage and family without renouncing your badass feminist ways. Not every woman has to have the maternal instinct from the time they're 15 to be a good mother, and it doesn't make you any less of a woman.

I think, the fear of being labeled Miranda says more about us women, then it does the character. It says we're still not comfortable being labeled a feminist, if it means we're not still magazine-level pretty and secretly conform to all the things a 'typical' woman is meant to do.

The day we WANT to all be Miranda's is the day we all win.

"Q: So, why do you write these strong female characters? A:"Because you're still asking me that question" - Joss Whedon 


Friday, April 19, 2013

Lodore & Patronage Summary

And Now For Something A Little Different...


So. I had a course last year (19th Century Women's Literature), that required me to read quite a few novels. Two of them...were hell on earth. And what's more there was never a summary online, not even a basic plot to help you grasp what the hell was going on. As such, I have decided it will be my absolute pleasure to post my detailed plot summaries of them on this blog in case future students run into the same problem as me. 

HERE IT GOES, MY LASTING IMPRESSION ON THE WORLD:

Lodore by Mary Shelley 


Character list:
·      Elizabeth Fitzhenry
o   Lodore’s sister – loves her brother
o   Spinster
·      Henry Fitzhenry / Lodore
o   Title character
o   Exiled for most of the novel
o   Unsuccessful marriage, raises his daughter alone
o   Dies in a duel at end of volume 1
o   A Baron – inherits this position from his father
·      Cornelia Santerre/ Lady Lodore
o   Lodore’s wife
o   Beautiful, marries young
o   Starts off ‘lively, witty, full of playful fancy’ (96)
o   Refuses to follow Lodore to America to retrieve her daughter
·      Ethel Fizthenry
o   Lodore’s daughter
o   Pure
o   Grows up in America – basic surroundings, not many people
o   Small inheritance from her father, 5000 pounds, because he did not amend his will – unfortunate for a Baron’s daughter
o   Embodies the ‘Angel in the House’ Victorian ideal, meek and submissive
o   A foil for her mother – similarities in their stories
·      Whitelock
o   Artist – receives patronage from Lodore
o   Loves Ethel
·      Mr. Francis Derham 
o   Lodore’s childhood friend from Eton – was bullied there
o   Fanny’s father
·      Lady Santerre
o   Cornelia’s mother
o   Gets in the way of her daughter’s marriage, unpopular
·      Count Casimir
o   Flirtation/affair with Cornelia angers Lodore, makes him jealous
o   Lodore and him fight, Lodore chooses to go into exile and leave Cornelia
o   Takes their daughter Ethel with him
·       Mrs. Greville
o   Lodore’s friend in Illinois
·      Fanny Derham
o   Francis Derham’s daughter
o   Friends with Ethel
o   Contrasts to other female characters (Ethel, Cornelia) because she is not attractive and is intellectual – does not engage with men in the novel
·      Mr. Hatfield
o   Was at the same dinner party where Lodore and Casimir fought
o   Him and Lodore duel, Lodore loses and dies
o   American – antagonism between him and English noble Lodore
·      Edward Villiers
o   Lodore’s ‘second’ in the duel
o   Ethel’s husband
o   Gets arrested
o   A Viscount
o   P. 221 – passage mentioned in class – ‘He had no hope of becoming independent; except through his father’s death…’ – Shelley detailing the evils of the entailed property system
o   Bad with money
·      Horatio Saville
o   Villiers’ cousin
o   Has a romance with Lady Lodore, leaves her to marry Clorinda
·      Clorinda Saville
o   Italian
o   Horatio’s wife
o   Passage on p. 260 describing her was read aloud in class – ‘Certainly she was entirely Italian…’
·      Colonel Villiers
o   Edward Villiers’ father
·      Lord Maristow
o   Horatio’s father,
o   Colonel Villiers’ brother
·      Mr. Gayland
o   Edward Villiers’ attorney
·      Lucy Saville, Sophia Saville – the Saville sisters, minor characters


Plot Summary
VOLUME 1
Lodore/Henry Fitzwilliam (as he is called while he is in exile) settles in Illinois with his infant daughter. Lives in exile, is a patron of the fine arts, loves his daughter and dedicates himself to her development. He tells Ethel that her mother is dead. The novel jumps to a flashback of Lodore’s days at Eton, where he befriends Francis Derham. Describes how he meets his wife, Cornelia, who he finds beautiful and ignorant.

Their marriage begins happily but Cornelia is heavily dominated by her mother, Lady Santerre, who Lodore dislikes. Lodore eventually decides he was mistaken in his judgment of Cornelia and their marriage struggles. She immerses herself in aristocratic society and they become estranged. Eventually, after a row with an admirer of Cornelia’s (Count Casimir), Lodore resolves to leave England with their newborn daughter Ethel. Lady Lodore does not follow him, though he writes and asks her to, because her mother advises her against it. She becomes separated from her daughter for the next 16 years.

After 12 years in exile, Lodore contemplates reconciling with Cornelia after learning that her mother has died. Cornelia does not wish for this to happen. However, he decides to return to England anyway. He dies in a duel on his way there. Ethel is handed over to her aunt, Lodore’s sister, Mrs. Elizabeth Fitzwilliam.

VOLUME 2
Edward Villiers (Lodore’s second during the duel) becomes involved in looking after Ethel and Elizabeth. Lady Lodore also learns that her daughter has returned to England. Eventually, Ethel and Villiers fall in love. After they are married he becomes plagued by financial troubles and they are often separated. They go to Italy together to visit his cousin Horatio.

Upon returning to England Ethel begins to wonder about her mother, who she now knows is alive. Her and Edward go to Longfield to say with Eliazabeth. After more financial troubles, Edward goes to London. Ethel follows him. They stay there together and are briefly happy, despite their poverty, because they are together.

Edward’s uncle, Lord Maristow, mails him requiring him to go to Egham. Edward is being pursued there by bailiffs who want to arrest him. Fanny Derham and Ethel are reunited.

VOLUME 3
Edward Villiers continues to avoid his London home while the bailiffs are looking for him. Ethel and Fanny’s friendship resumes and the novel talks about how different the two are, with Ethel representing the Victorian feminine ideal.

Ethel and Villiers are reunited. They plan to go to the country together. They move to an inn in Brixton. Ethel tries to convince Edward to accept money from her relatives, but he refuses.

Villiers gets arrested and goes to prison. Not wishing to be separated from him, Ethel goes to stay with him in a lodging. When Cornelia learns of her daughter’s situation, she resolves to stop living selfishly and in isolation and instead to dedicate her life to helping her daughter and son in law.

Villiers is depressed that he can’t take care of himself, but resolves to continue living because he learns that Ethel is pregnant. Lady Lodore moves to Wales and falls ill, and leaves her house to the couple, who wonder about her absence. She transfers all her wealth over, leaving her destitute.

Ethel gives birth to a son. Elizabeth Fitzhenry discovers Lady Lodore’s situation, and goes to visit her. They reconcile their dislike of one another, somewhat, because Lady Lodore admits to her faults during her marriage to Lodore. The novel ends with Lady Lodore contemplating her marriage to Lodore and her wrongs, and with a reunion between her and Ethel.

Patronage by Maria Edgeworth (bear with me, this summary is long and tedious much like the book)


Character List:
Falconers:
·      Commissioner Falconer
·      Mrs. Falconer
o   Fraudulent
o   pushy
·      Cunningham
o   Works for Lord Olborough
o   Politics
o   Gets the job by him and his father decoding the papers
·      Buckhurst
o   Church? Law? Doesn’t know what he wants
o   Knocks up Kate Robinson (she dies, he sends 10 pounds)
o   Marries Lady Clay
·      John
o   Soldier (promised by Oldborough that he would be a lieutenant and then a general)
·      Georgiana
o   Fashionable
o   Attacked by a dog
o   Musician
o   Doesn’t end up marrying Pembroke and instead goes to India at the end of the novel
·      Arabella
o   The ugly one
o   older
o   Marries Robert Percy , but he deserts her when the case falls through
Percy
·      Mr. Percy
o   GASSOCK
o   Law/Translation
·      Mrs. Percy
o   Not so pushy
o   Understanding
·      Godfrey
o   The oldest and should have inherited Percy Estate
o   Soldier (colonel?)
o   In love with Maria Hauton (divorcee’s daughter)
o   Seems to be the favorite
o   Promoted to major
·      Alfred
o   Barrister
o   Marries Sophia Leicester (doctor’s niece)
·      Erasmus
o   Physician
o   Dr. Frumpton, patronage?
·      Rosamund
o   Marries Mr. Temple
o   Imagination
o   Wild child of the family
o   Less pretty
·      Caroline
o   Count Altenburg
o   Very pretty
o   Very reasonable and smart
·      Sir Robert Percy
o   Marries Arabella

MISC
·      Lord Olborough
o   Old friend of Mr. Percy
o   Everyone’s Patron – helps Cunningham and John
o   Hauton is niece
o   Believed that John was in love with Maria, and wanted to stop being John’s Patron.
o   Two threats to powers: One scheme against him in the De Tourville papers, Duke of Greenwich and the King accuse him of trying to promote people (Mrs. Falconer’s letters)
·      M. De Tourville
o   French, cowardly, papers
·      Count Altenberg
o   All around good guy
o   Marries Caroline
o   Very rich
o   Instructs German Prince not to marry Euphrosyne
·      Lady Maria Hauton
o   Mother was a divorcee, lived with her mother makes her unacceptable
o   Beautiful
o   The perfect woman, BUT SHE’S TAINTED
·      Colonel Hauton
o   Maria Hauton’s brother
·      Dr. Frumpton
o   Physician, but not a gentleman
·      Colonel Gascoigne
o   He likes Rosamond
·      Henry (soldier)
·      Mr. Temple
o   Oldborough’s secretary
o   Marries and proposes to Rosamond
o   Doesn’t have very much money
·      Mr. Gresham
o   Mr. Panton’s partner
o   He proposes to Rosamond, she cannot love because of his profession, no man who isn’t a hero, and doesn’t like the idea of marrying of money
·      Mr. Panton
o   Has a falling out with Erasmus over Constance
o   Is a hypochondriac
o   His daughter is Constance (she needs to marry a Baron’s son to compensate for her father being of low birth)
·      Colonel Hungerford
o   Hungerford Castle
o   Proposes to Caroline, because she seems to like him, but she doesn’t
o   Better suited to her friend Pembrooke (Mary)
·      Lady Jane Granville
o   The Percy Children’s Aunt
o   more traditional view of marriage – marriage for money and rank
o   tries to marry Caroline to Lord Williams
·      Lady Angelica Headingham
o   Manipulative Bitch
o   Mrs. Hungerford’s niece
o   Came into a large estate and became super fashionable
o   Belle esprit
o   In love with Barclay – is in Hungerford castle at the same time as Caroline
·      Mrs. Hungerford
o   loves Caroline like a daughter
o   but prefers Pembroke to Caroline for Colonel Hungerford
·      O’Brien
o   Mr. Gresham employ him as his porter
·      Mr. Barclay
o   Angelica Headingham wants, but he proposes to Caroline
·      Dr. Leicester
o   Sophia Leicester
·      James Harcourt
o   Is in love with Angelica Headingham

General Notes
·      Plot driven by war time setting – Napoleonic wars
·      Patronage vs Independence – Falconers vs Percys
·      Godfrey – Soldier
·      Alfred – Barrister
o   Curries favor not through Patronage and bribery but by doing excellently (Barrister Friend)
·      Erasmus – Physician
·      Cunningham – Politics
·      John – Soldier (promoted on Patronage, but then messes up to Oldborough’s downfall)
·      Rosamond refuses Mr. Gresham’s proposal because he is of the merchant class and does not wish to take on his awful connexions, additionally, she does not want to marry for wealth, and she wants to marry a hero
List of Caroline’s Proposals
·      Buckhurst
·      Mr. Barclay
·      Colonel Hungerford
·      English Clay
·      Could Altenburg 
o   Commissioner asks Caroline to be heroine in a play, she refuses
o   Georgiana attacked by barking dog, but Caroline saves her
 Plot Summary:

Volume 1:
The story begins at Percy Hall, when a Dutch merchant ship crashes a little offshore.  Among one of the people rescued is M. De Tourville a French chargĂ© d’affaires who’s carrying coded papers of importance to Lord Oldborough.

Commissioner Falconer comes to visit and realizes Tourville should have been detained. But he was in possession of the papers which Tourville had lost. SO he goes to Lord and he's all "I shall be your patron and you shall decode this and discover my enemies"

Then it's all about Commissioner Falconer trying to get his sons in high places. Then we focus on Buckhurst Falconer and how his father wants him to go to the church but he doesn’t want to, and instead is in love with Caroline Percy. Buckhurst talks to Mr. Percy about getting into law but groans at the idea of actual work. Buckhurst then proposes to Caroline, but gets rejected.

Then he holds a ball, but Caroline doesn’t go out of courtesy to him, and this is where Colonel Hauton and his sister are introduced. Godfrey's all "yo you liked to my sister"
and then everyone thinks maria's super hawt, but because her mother was a divorcee is unfit for marriage. Although Godfrey is taken with her. Next day he goes to she if she is alright cause she faints like the lady she is, but finds out she is engaged to the Marquis of Twickenham.

Then Godfrey heads back up to his bros, otherwise known as a regiment in the army.

Right after he leaves, part of Percy halls sets on fire. And Caroline saves the old maid in the attic. Mr. Percy checks his papers and finds that he has lost the ‘deed’ to Percy Estate. Mr. Sharpe (attorney for Robert Percy) here’s this.

Then we hear all about Alfred and Erasmus doing their doctor and lawyer thang. Alfred (barrister) and Erasmus (physician), through their letters; Alfred says that business is slow; gives the history of his friend Mr. Temple, victim of patronage who abandoned the legal profession and now writes documents for money for Cunningham; Erasmus also has slow business, pays court on recommendation to the famous physician Sir Amyas, but displeases Sir Amyas by revealing the truth about one of his art pieces; Erasmus's next letter reveals that he is approached by Sir Amyas's nemesis Dr. Frumpton, but Erasmus contradicts Frumption's opinion about an amputation, and though he saves the man's leg, loses Frumpton's favor; Alfred gives news about Buckhurst's dissipation, a negative report about the Falconer daughters, and a hint at lawyer Sharpe's retribution; Caroline rejects Buckhurst’s renewed proposals

We then meet Gascoigne and Captain Henry through Godfrey’s letters. And how he appeals to Lord Oldborough to stop passing Gascoigne over. But because Oldborough thinks his niece Maria Hauton won’t marry Twickenham because she’s in love with Godfrey he sends his regiment to the West indies (thanks to stupid Cunningham)

Then Oldborough tells Falconer if his son John gets married in a fortnight and moves away he will be advanced greatly in the army in like a year. So he does…he marries Miss Petcalf. Commissioner Falconer still can’t figure out what “Gassoc” is in the Tourville papers.

Buckhurst gets lucky and dines with Bishop Clay  - saves him from choking by blowing in his ear, and gets a living.

Then the Percy’s have to leave Percy hall, cause their bitch of a relation Robert has decided to take over the house with a lack of a deed.  They go to The Hills. Commissioner Falconer visits and there is a discussion on the pros and cons of Patronage.

Most "friends" of the Percys let their connection drop (including the Falconers, except Buckhurst, who writes to Caroline again, who refuses his proposal); Caroline and Rosamond meet Kate Robinson and her baby; the old woman Dorothy tells Kate's sad story, that she was abandoned, pregnant, by Buckhurst; Percy women discussion of Buckhurst and love; Kate dies without Buckhurst knowing, though he sends their child £10 after her death
Lady Jane Granville (distant relative of Mr Percy) comes to the Hills and implores Caroline to let her take her and show her off and get her married. A very annoying old fashioned character. Caroline refuses. Kind of awkward.

Then Mrs. Hungerford and her daughter Mrs. Mortimer turn up – and they love Caroline like a daughter. Invite them to Hungerford Castle to stay with Lady Angelica Headingham, Sir James Harcourt, Mr. Barclay and Lady Pembroke.


Volume 2:
At this point it looks like patronage is pulling ahead, because the percys suck and the falconers are aces.
We might O’Brien who Erasmus saves from being an amputee.

Then we go to Hungerford Castle and we think Caroline is going to marry Colonel Hungerford. But his mother and Caroline think he is better suited to her neice Mary Pembroke.  Barclay starts to like Caroline over Angelica and proposes. She rejects him.

Erasmus writes of Constance, the woman he met at Mr. Gresham's house, who is the daughter of Gresham's partner Mr. Panton, the London counterpart to the shipwrecked Dutch merchants, and Captain Henry now works for him; Constance is not to Erasmus's taste and is the destined match of a man of title, though she has not been spoiled by her father's low tastes; Mr. Panton, the hypochondriac, is Erasmus's patient; Erasmus tries to help him by humoring his fancies, but really inducing him into habits of better living; after his success with Mr. Panton, Erasmus gets a good reputation; Mr. Gresham employs O'Brien as his porter; Mr. Percy explains his principles on patronage, which are not in conflict with Erasmus's actions; letter from Alfred in which he tells about how he got put on a brief of Oldborough's, but his superior took all the credit; Alfred saw Buckhurst preach and declares him to be too fashionable; Oldborough distinguishes Alfred at the church, after which the Falconers acknowledge him; Alfred reports that Oldborough has taken Temple to be his secretary; Oldborough's declared belief to hide his mistakes (which is why he continues to patronize the Falconers); Alfred tells of how he removed the necessity of Farmer Grimwood's law suit; Alfred falls in love with Sophia, the niece of Dr. Leicester, who was the almost-opponent in Grimwood's suit

Then Mr. Panton believes Erasmus is in love with his daughter, and it’s supes awk.  Then Erasmus saves Mr. Gresham who goes and stays at The Hills with the Percy’s. falls in love with Rosamond. It’s here that she has the discussion about not marrying into merchant family.  Panton dies somewhere in here.

Alfred's opponent in the Hauton-Oldborough case recognized the good point he made and recommended him to clients; good example of Counsellor Friend, who introduces him to the lord chief justice, and Alfred makes a good impression on him; Alfred gets placed on more prestigious cases where his merit is allowed to show, and he then becomes in more demand, and his preparations eventually allow him to fill in for his ill superiors; Alfred becomes very popular and is invited to Lady Angelica's drawing rooms; Alfred helps his troubled relative Lady Jane Granville with her legal case and Mr. Gresham with his case; Godfrey writes to say that his regiment has been recalled from the West Indies and Gascoigne has been promoted, all thanks to Oldborough; the old lieutenant-colonel died after drinking too much, while Godfrey and Gascoigne, the only temperate officers, are the only ones in health; hint about Gascoigne liking Rosamond (or rather, her journal)

Alfred writes in a letter about Count Altenberg.

Then we segue to the Miss Falconers, and the ball they have at which Count Altenburg and Alfred attend.

People are starting to complain about the patronage of the Falconers because they aren’t doing so well, and Lord Oldborough is taking flak for it.

Then the Falconers and Altenberg visit Percy Hall and everyone agrees Caroline is a babe due to the portrait painted by the old lady from the fire’s son.  Arabella’s gearing up to marry Robert Percy.

Then there’s the Falconer ball to which the Percy’s are invited. And they’re late cause their carriage overturn, and then hi-jinks ensue when Mrs. Falconer makes them change shoes so Caroline cant dance with the count, and Rosamund steals em back!

Volume III
Oldborough is sociable and shows off the Percys to Count Altenberg; the Percys walk with Mr. Temple and the count when Falconer comes upon them and invites Caroline to participate in the theatricals, but she declines, though the Percys plan to watch; the count visits the Percys frequently at the Hills; Mrs. Falconer devises a new plan for Georgiana to ensnare one of the Clays or Petcalf; Georgiana's troubles selling off her old gowns to her maid to raise enough money for a new gown for the play, but Mrs. Falconer manages to get money for two new gowns for her in exchange for Georgiana's promise that she'll marry Petcalf in a year if nothing better offers; final preparations (and squabbles) regarding the private theatricals. All the Percy’s and Altenberg head to Clermont Park (Lord Oldborough’s place). Caroline and Altenberg fall more in love…and then Mrs. Falconer’s all “let’s perform Zaire” and Caroline’s all “no, that ain’t what graceful swans of lady’s do”.

Then the whole play debaucle and georgi's attacked by a dog, Caroline is an upstanding young woman.

As the count prepares to leave England because he’s been called back by his dad to get married, Oldborough asks him to see if Cunningham is going rogue in Germany; Falconer nervous about his influence with Oldborough, and Mr. and Mrs. Falconer argue about the upbringing of their daughters and expenditure habits; French Clay marries an Italian performer that Mrs. Falconer features during her performance nights, but Mrs. Falconer manages to get a proposal for Georgiana from English Clay with Lady Trant's assistance; at the same time, Buckhurst was experiencing disappointments, including losing the long-expected living from Colonel Hauton after Hauton catches him making fun of him, so Buckhurst proposes to and is accepted by Tammy Clay, the bishop's sister; French and English Clay, her nephews, oppose the match, and English Clay opposes the projected "double" alliance; Buckhurst marries Tammy Clay before Mrs. Falconer and Georgiana can convince him otherwise, and Mrs. Falconer plans to settle for Petcalf as Georgiana’s husband

Temple tells Alfred that he loves Rosamond, and since Alfred has country-business for Oldborough too, they head out almost immediately; because Alfred does not have enough to live on, Rosamond does not accept him, but she gives him hope and her parents give her permission to correspond with him; Percys go to Hungerford Castle to celebrate Mr. Barclay's and Lady Mary Pembroke's marriage, and Caroline remains with Mrs. Hungerford; after hearing of Lady Jane Granville's illness, Caroline leaves the Hungerfords to attend to her aunt

Volume IV

Lady Jane intends Lord William for Caroline, and he is an excellent catch, but he is very shy, and Caroline notices his inclinations, but realizes that she can only love the count; Caroline practices what she preaches (avoidance of coquetry) and gently discourages Lord William, eventually telling him that she loves another; Lady Jane is angry that Caroline refused Lord William, especially since she will not get credit for the "conquest" since it was all implicitly done

Then the count gets back and is all “I ain’t married” and him and Caroline get hitched. YAY. And then Rosamond says yes to Mr. Temple.

Just as Caroline and the count are to leave for the continent, Percy is arrested, Sir Robert Percy now seeks the past rents he had agreed to relinquish in exchange for Percy-hall, and Percy would rather remain in jail than have a friend give an exorbitant sum of money to bail him out; Caroline and the count must be separated, as she remains with her father as he is about to go to prison and the count returns to his country; Caroline and Mrs. Percy stay with Percy in jail, while Erasmus and Rosamond stay with Lady Jane; their steward visits Percys in jail and is shocked, but hears that jail allows some liberty; Alfred brings the bad news that Percy's former agreement with Sir Robert Percy was an agreement of honor and will not hold in court and Percy will have to sell all of his possessions if Sir Robert wins; the count's father dies and the French approach Germany; Temple is depressed, and Godfrey is taken prisoner on his way home to England

Then the kerfuffle with the bread seals and Mrs. Falconer and Lady Trent

And Alfred solves the deed puzzle when the sixpence inside the seal is from a later date than the deed was signed, so the good Percy’s get Percy Manor back. Robert Percy runs off…

Percy visits Oldborough; Oldborough is preparing his memoirs, and the visit of Oldborough’s sister shows him the joys of a "private" life, which he nevertheless endeavors to repress; Oldborough receives a private letter delivered by a Neapolitan abbe, which is from his wrongly discarded Italian wife; Oldborough has a son, who is in fact Mr. Henry, and Percy describes Henry's adventures; Percy writes to Henry to come to Clermont-park the next day on presumed business with Oldborough; Oldborough recognizes Henry as his son and is overjoyed

Everything sort of ends happily